Performance Review Terminology Simplified

Good Communication Skills – Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee – Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified – Made no major blunders yet

Work Is First Priority – Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially – Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially – Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker – Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking – Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker – Won’t make a decision

Aggressive – Obnoxious

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs – Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well – Speaks English

Meticulous Attention To Detail – A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities – Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgment – Lucky

Keen Sense Of Humor – Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded – Back Stabber

Loyal – Can’t get a job anywhere else