Doctor:What seems to be your trouble?
Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.
Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.
--------------------------------------------
Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?
Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.
Doctor: Why?
Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label:
Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.
-------------------------------------------------
Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and
waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.
--------------------------------------------------
Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success.
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this articular exercise, all my body's blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It's all-right. I'm not in a hurry.
---------------------------------------------------
Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No... I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.
---------------------------------------------------
Mohan : (to the doctor) : Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?
Doctor : Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Mohan : How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital.
---------------------------------------------------
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, "I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?".
"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".
--------------------------------------------------
A patient: Doctor, I don't feel hungry after taking meal.
Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit.
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up.
----------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, I can't sleep.
Doctor: Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off.
----------------------------------------------------
Patient: I have spent 80% of my life's savings on doctors.
Doctor : Why didn't you come to me earlier?
-----------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see your son.
---------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, I feel there are two of me.
Doctor : Very well, I shall see you, one at a time.
----------------------------------------------------
Romi : (to the doctor): Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift.
Doctor: Tell her to come in.
Romi: I cannot
Doctor: Why so?
Romi: Because she does not stop at this floor.
----------------------------------------------------
A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness.
Health expert: Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time.
Fat lady: At which particular time?
Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine.
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right.
--------------------------------------------------
Doctor (to a patient) : you must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we've only 3 spoons at home.
Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.
Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.
--------------------------------------------
Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?
Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.
Doctor: Why?
Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label:
Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.
-------------------------------------------------
Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and
waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.
--------------------------------------------------
Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success.
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this articular exercise, all my body's blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It's all-right. I'm not in a hurry.
---------------------------------------------------
Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No... I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.
---------------------------------------------------
Mohan : (to the doctor) : Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?
Doctor : Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Mohan : How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital.
---------------------------------------------------
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, "I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?".
"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".
--------------------------------------------------
A patient: Doctor, I don't feel hungry after taking meal.
Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit.
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up.
----------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, I can't sleep.
Doctor: Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off.
----------------------------------------------------
Patient: I have spent 80% of my life's savings on doctors.
Doctor : Why didn't you come to me earlier?
-----------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see your son.
---------------------------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, I feel there are two of me.
Doctor : Very well, I shall see you, one at a time.
----------------------------------------------------
Romi : (to the doctor): Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift.
Doctor: Tell her to come in.
Romi: I cannot
Doctor: Why so?
Romi: Because she does not stop at this floor.
----------------------------------------------------
A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness.
Health expert: Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time.
Fat lady: At which particular time?
Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.
---------------------------------------------------
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine.
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right.
--------------------------------------------------
Doctor (to a patient) : you must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we've only 3 spoons at home.
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